Boeing's McDonnell Douglas Military Aerospace Division has sacked a website co-ordinator following his 'joke' webpage that he sent online on Boeing's Internet site for 24 hours on Friday May 16.

Marcus Vaughan, 29, constructed a page which purported to be a sales questionnaire for buyers of military aircraft, and received complaints reportedly from customers in the Middle East.

Vaughan claimed it "was all just a joke", but Boeing MDMAD's vice-president Charles D Grimes said: "We cannot allow for such behaviour from those supposedly representing our company. It has left a bad taste in our mouths and what is worse, it has upset our customers.

He thinks he was being funny. He was 'unfunny' and now he knows it."
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The Questionnaire:

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below.

1. Your Personal Details:

    [ ] Mr [ ] Mrs [ ] Ms [ ] Miss [ ] General [ ] Comrade [ ] Classified
    First Name:............. Password:........ (max 8 characters)
    Last Name:............. Code Name:.......
    Longitude: .............. Latitude................... Altitude:..................

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

    [ ] F-14 Tomcat  [ ] F-16 Falcon
    [ ] F-15 Eagle     [ ] F-117A Stealth  [ ] Classified

3. Date of purchase:.....................

4. Serial and Chassis Number:..........................

5. Please check where this product was purchased:

    [ ] Received as a gift / UN aid package   [ ] Independent arms broker
    [ ] Mail order   [ ] Discount store   [ ] Government surplus
    [ ] Catalog / showroom

6. Please check how you became aware of this product:

    [ ] Heard loud noise, looked up    [ ] Was attacked by one
    [ ] Store display  [ ] Espionage     [ ] Recommended by friend / ally
    [ ] Political lobbying by manufacturer

7. Please check the three factors that most influenced your decision to buy this aerial weapons platform:

    [ ] Speed / manoeuvrability    [ ] Price / value  [ ] Bribed
    [ ] Kickback   [ ] Afterburner   [ ] Advanced Weapons System
    [ ] Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

    [ ] North America  [ ] Europe  [ ] Central / South America
    [ ] Third World countries         [ ] Aircraft carrier

9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase within the next six months:

    [ ] Colour TV   [ ] VCR   [ ] Dishwasher   [ ] Space Shuttle
    [ ] Intercontinental Ballistic Missile  [ ] Killer satellite [ ] CD player
    [ ] Air-to-air missiles  [ ] Nuclear, Biological and Chemical weapons

10. How would you describe yourself or your organisation?

    [ ] Communist  [ ] Terrorist       [ ] Crazed [ ] Democratic
    [ ] Neutral         [ ] Dictatorship [ ] Corrupt [ ] Primitive / tribal

11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

    [ ] Deficit spending      [ ] Cash  [ ] Cocaine [ ] Oil revenues
    [ ] Check / credit card [ ] Ransom money     [ ] I stole it

12. Your occupation?

    [ ] Homemaker [ ] Sales / marketing [ ] Revolutionary [ ] Clerical
    [ ] Mercenary    [ ] Tyrant                 [ ] Middle management
    [ ] Student         [ ] Eccentric billionaire [ ] Defence minister

12. To help us understand our customers' needs, please indicate your areas of interest:

    [ ] Golf  [ ] Sailing       [ ] Propaganda / misinformation
    [ ] Destabilization / overthrow   [ ] Default on US military loans
    [ ] Pets [ ] Gardening [ ] Black market / smuggling
    [ ] Fashion [ ] Border disputes [ ] Watching sports on TV
    [ ] Crushing rebellion                [ ] Interrogation / torture
    [ ] Espionage / reconnaissance [ ] Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, militias, and mysterious consortia.

MCDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION (BOEING)
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
PO Box 800 St Louis,
MO Ian Oatley - Super Duper Huper Scuper Site Support Engineery type person