When I was at Heathrow having my bike crated I asked Dave, who was making my crate, what's the strangest thing he’s ever sent?

‘I’ve been in this job for twelve years’, he replied, ‘the strangest thing I’ve ever packed was a penis’.

‘What markings were on the box?’, I asked, ‘one careful owner?’.

‘You’re having me on!’. Exclaimed Pete, he had a shaved head, two nose rings and ‘venom’ tattooed across his neck. They'd been working together for four years.

‘No, it was a real, frozen, penis. It was going to be used in medical research’.

‘It’s a bit late to test with Viagra’, I quipped.

‘Unless it’s the new super strong version’, said Venom.

It didn’t seem an appropriate moment to argue with him.

He was clearly amazed and impressed.

‘What happened to the donor?’

‘I don’t know, I just boxed it up and sent it’.

‘He must have ticked the ‘Please use my willy’ box on his organ donor’s card’, added Venom.

Hmm, where's my card?